Falling
by Writing-and-Music
Summary: All Butters wanted was to be free. Not even Kenny could keep him away from that long awaited freedom. Warnings: Yaoi, abuse, and suicide. {Bunny}, {Creek}, {Kyman}, and possibly {Dip}


**Disclaimer: I do NOT own South Park or any of the characters. They all belong to the rightful owners!**

**-Page Break-**

Butters eyes swelled as he swallowed against the lump in his throat. Frustrated with his own weakness, he swiftly brushed away the tears that had forced their way down his cheeks with the back of his hand. He couldn't think about it anymore- he'd explode.

Tenderly he pat a rough paper towel against the cut flesh of his cheek. His body flinched visibly at the contact, but kept the towel placed firmly to the cut until it stopped bleeding. With a jerky movement he unzipped his sky blue backpack with old, fading Hello Kitty pictures on the front. He had put those on when he was in the fifth grade, but never bothered to take them off.

He dug out a soft cotton bandage and wrapped it carefully around his -most likely- sprained wrist. Once securing it he tossed the remaining wrap in the open backpack and threw the blood-stained towel into the trash can near the door. He bent down, hissing as his shirt brushed against the welts on his back, threw his backpack over one shoulder and unlocked the school bathroom door.

He stepped out into the slight bustling halls that only contained kids that had to study last minute for a test, and those -like Butters- who just needed to get away from home after a long weekend. Butters slowly set a pace towards the hallway that led to to library. He always went there when he needed to calm down.

When the old doors of the library opened, the welcomed scent of books and mildew met him. Butters scanned the room carefully, keeping a close eye out for anyone who might try to pick a fight with him. There was Tweek, sitting with Craig at a table in the farthest corner of the library chatting quietly. And Kenny sitting alone at a table catching a few more minutes of sleep before the first period bell.

Butters released a soft sigh of relief, there was no sign of Cartman. That was the most of his worries at school. The seventeen year old boy who surprisingly thinned out with age, now only looking a tad overweight, but his muscles made it all fit together. Not to mention his height. He had stolen the attention of many girls at the school, even Kyle had admitted he was attractive with a bright blush.

Eric Cartman's pretty looks didn't fool Butters though. He was still the arrogant, selfish asshole that he always has been; people just seem to forget that because his jock looks. That is what frustrated Butters most of all. The people at this red-neck school sided with the popular, good looking kids, while they bullied and beat up the "losers".

This whole town is just full of jerks, Butters thought distastefully to himself. He was ready, so ready, to pack up his bags and head out to Colorado University that he had been working so hard to get to. Just to get away from his parents, the people of South Park, and most of all escape all the pain he went through every day.

Sure, that may sound like he was acting like a baby or a goth on her period, but it was the truth. He was beat by his father, neglected by his cold mother, picked on and beat almost everyday by other kids, or worse just completely ignored. Treated as if he was a ghost, there but they couldn't see him. He would have to throw things around or say something stupid for others to notice him at all.

Just six more months, Butters reminded himself as he pulled a book from the bookshelf. Six more months and he would graduate, he would finally be _free. _Free, the word meant so many things to the pale blue-eyed boy.

It meant he could finally escape the cage he had been trapped inside all his life, he could start a new life, meet new people and make friends, find someone he could actually call his family.

Butters closed his eyes lost in a daydream, imagining how great his life could finally be. Not perfect, but so perfectly imperfect that it was all he needed. Not that that made any since to anyone but him. Maybe that's why his parents thought he was crazy...

The screeching of the bell jolted him out of his thoughts, and Kenny out of his dreamland. "Shit," Butters heard the parka wearing boy mutter frustratingly as he gathered his torn up backpack and stood up groggily. He turned his head for a second, sent Butters a flirtatious wink before pacing towards the hallway doors. Butters only shook his head, Kenny was such a flirt it scared him. He would do anything to get in anyone's pants. And unfortunately, Butters was in his long list of one-night stands.

Then again, how long could it really get with so little people in school. Butters was fairly sure he never would sleep with Lisa Hamburger. Then again, he did sleep with him, so anything was possible.

**-Page Break-**

Drawing class was Butters favorite. Besides it being his elective, it was a place where he could relax and completely lose himself into a piece of artwork. Like what he was so diligently working on now was a simple rough sketch of something he has had trapped inside his mind for quite a while, but never had the chance to start on it. Between chores, school, work, and studying stuff for college, Butters almost never had any time to sit and draw.

The main idea was a teenage girl, who was pretty in Butters mind, standing and staring a large group of talking kids paying no attention to her. It was a simple sketch, but Butters guessed it would look much better colored and drawn better. He would also plan out all the details with the final copy.

"Butters, that's an impressive sketch. What are you planning on calling the final picture?" Mrs. Zeke had asked over Butters shoulder, admiring the penmanship.

"On the Outside," Butters answered automatically, surprising himself. He honestly had no idea what he was going to call it until just now.

"Simply beautiful," she whispered her chocolate brown eyes shining. "I can't wait to see the final product."

Butters kindly smiled at the young woman, who was most likely in her young twenty's, and said nonchalantly, "Me too." The woman returned the smile genuinely before moving onto the next student whom was obviously still trying to come up with an idea.

Mrs. Zeke was Butters overall favorite teacher. She was kind, young and always smelled of soft apple-cinnamon. It reminded him of autumn when everyone is baking pies and celebrating the holidays together.

When he finally finished the last touch on the lonely girl's hair in the sketch, the second period bell rang causing dread to settle itself uncomfortably in Butters gut. His stomach twisted as he packed up his art supplies hurriedly and headed out of the classroom. Then when he stepped into Mathematics his heart began to hammer against his ribcage.

There, right across the room in front of him, was Eric Cartman talking and flirting with Bebe the hottest girl in school. Butters silently thanked God for leaving Cartman distracted by Bebe's breasts as he breezed past the happy couple. He slid in his seat in the back of the class, while noticing a jealous looking Kyle glaring daggers at the gorgeous curly blonde girl.

"Better hurry Kyle, she's about to steal your man," Kenny joked from his desk next to the red-head's. Kyle's eyebrows furrowed and he flashed Kenny a look that screamed 'shut the hell up' before switching his attention back to Eric.

Butters heard Kenny snort and whisper, "You are so pathetic." He couldn't help agree with him. Kyle looked as if he was going to jump to girl and kill her just because she was talking to Cartman. She flirted with every boy at school, even Butters occasionally when she was really desperate for sex. Not that Butters ever agreed, the only one he agreed to was Kenny, and that was because he was in love with him at the time.

But not any more, Butters said stubbornly in his head. That night was a mistake. He made himself vulnerable to Kenny, just some other slut to have a fling with once then throw them out. That was it, nothing more, nothing less. And now, that was perfectly fine with Butters. He didn't want any special attachments to this town, especially ones that could change his mind about leaving. Kenny certainly was beginning to change his mind about leaving during that time, and he couldn't go back to that.

If he were to stay here just because he loved someone he would be throwing everything he worked so hard for away. All the money he had saved up would be spent on a ring. His education would have been pointless and he would just get a job as a mechanic or some other low-paying job. He didn't want that. He wanted to be free. All this work he has struggled through was all to make that one word become true.

He would soar free and never look back; and that sounded completely perfect to Butters.

**Author's Note: This idea has been swimming through my mind for I don't know how long. Eventually I got fed up with the idea just swarming around and got down to writing. In fact, this is the first thing I've written in quite a while. I think a month or two since I've last just sat to write. I never realized how much I missed it. **

**I hope you enjoyed the first chapter, and I'm sorry if anyone is so out of character that you can't stand it. But this is a angst story and there will be sensitive material in it. (Not sex or anything though.) I'll leave warning before the chapter when they begin to happen. **

**Future pairings will be: **

**Bunny**

**Kyman**

**Creek**

**and possibly Dip**

**Ja ne! **


End file.
